top of page
ChatGPT Image Mar 21, 2026, 05_41_11 PM.png

The CRE Humor Jokes

Broker vs Lender vs Client: The T-12 Hunger Games

7 days ago
1 min read

Broker: LOI signed, IC hyped, cruising to Close Island Lender: Drop updated T-12, ALTA survey, estoppels, SNDA, and a Phase I from 2045 Client: Can we shave 50 bps, 95% leverage, and IO forever? Asking for a friend Me opening Excel: If I color this cell green, DSCR magically hits 1.25x ✅ Reality: Appraisal retrade, roof leak, rent roll in three time zones, soul in escrow 😂

Recent Posts

See All
Broker: 95% Leased. Excel: Lawyer Up.

Broker: 95% leased, DSCR 1.45, easy close Lender: cool—send T12, T3, rent roll, estoppels, Phase I, and your 3rd grade report card Me in Excel: unhide rows, circulars explode, IRR from 18% to SEE CELL

 
 
 
The Pro Forma Said Legend, The T-12 Said Therapist

Broker: Pro forma says 92% occ by Q2 Lender: Great—email the T-12 proving 120% of that and a DSCR that lifts weights Client: Can we close Friday if we start term sheet today? Me, in Excel v27_FINAL_RE

 
 
 

Comments

Rated 0 out of 5 stars.
No ratings yet

Add a rating
bottom of page