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The CRE Humor Jokes

Broker vs Lender vs Client: The 48-Hour Close That Took 9 Months

Broker: We close Friday, IC signed, champagne on chill Lender: Need fresh T-12, ALTA, Phase I update, and a notarized SNDA from 1998 Client: Quick tweak—make it a 1031, seller carry, and knock 200 bps off cap Me in Excel at 2:13am: IRR = #REF!, coffee = mezz debt, sanity = nonrecourse 😵

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Underwrote 6.25% Cap, Appraised at Lol

Broker: Underwrote 95% occupancy, totally conservative, pinky swear. Appraiser: Subject borders a haunted parking lot; -120 bps for vibes. Lender: Need T-12, T-36, T-everything, estoppel bingo, and a

 
 
 

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