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The CRE Humor Jokes

Broker vs Lender vs Appraiser: My IRR Didn't Survive

Broker: Seller is “motivated.” Lender: Cool, send T-12, rent roll, estoppels, and a 200 bps time machine. Appraiser: Found a drive-thru comp—your office is now a sandwich. Me in Excel: 17% IRR pre-quote, 0.7 DSCR post-quote 🧮🤡

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Appraiser Brought a 2021 Comp to a 2026 Knife Fight

Broker: T12 scrubbed, 6-cap, Phase I squeaky. Let’s close. Lender: DSCR 1.249 so… escrows, rate cap, and a blood sample. Appraiser: Used a 'nearby' comp 19 miles away behind a cornfield—value: vibes.

 
 
 

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