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The CRE Humor Jokes

Broker vs Lender vs Appraiser: DSCR 1.24 Edition

5 days ago
1 min read

Broker: Pro forma DSCR 1.30, T-12 squeaky clean Lender: Actual DSCR 1.24; add $600k equity and where’s the SNDA Appraiser: Value subject to roof, parking lot, and time itself; cap +50 bps Client: Still Friday close, right? Me: Rebuilding the model for the 17th time; my VLOOKUP ordered a Phase I 🧮😵‍💫

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