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The CRE Humor Jokes

Broker says Clean NNN, Excel says New Neglected Roof

Broker: It’s a clean NNN, 6-cap, 30-day close Lender: DSCR 1.29—proceeds are vibes; send estoppels, SNDA, and maybe your firstborn Appraiser: Best comp is a goat yoga barn 40 miles away—value down 12% 🐐 Me opening rent roll: “NNN” = New, Noticeable, Neglected roof; re-trade speedrun 😬

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6-Cap On The OM, 6AM On My Model

Broker: It’s a clean 6-cap Lender: Great—need T-12, T-24, and your soul by noon Appraiser: Value = vibes × “functional obsolescence” ÷ parking that isn’t real Me at 2AM in Excel: circular refs, DSCR w

 
 
 

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