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The CRE Humor Jokes

Broker Said 'Clean Deal' - Phase I Said 'Chlorinated Solvents'

Broker: DD will be smooth Phase I: Former dry cleaner + mystery well. Also a tank we 'probably' removed Seller: Rent roll lives in a JPEG of a fax from 2006 Lender: Third-party roof report, zoning letter, 12 estoppels, and your soul by EOD Me: Re-trading 30 bps at 3:07 AM and calling it 'market dynamics.' šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«šŸ”„

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When the ALTA hits and your pro forma taps out

Broker: Off-market, 'light lift' 🧮 My model: 47 tabs, 19 IRR cases, cell G37 chained to a prayer Lender: Need refreshed Phase I, ALTA v3, estoppels, SNDAs, and your Q4 soul Seller: BTW NOI includes m

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