Broker Math vs Lender Math vs Appraiser Math (Choose Your Fighter)

Broker: Pro forma 6-cap, clean T-12, 70% LTV—what could go wrong? Lender: In our "mild hurricane" stress test, DSCR is 1.23—bring $600k and partial recourse. Appraiser: Using comps with 50% vacancy because "market softness"—value 11% under contract 🧮 Me: Re-cutting the model at 1:57 a.m., swapping EV chargers for "free vibes," still short 😵‍💫