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The CRE Humor Jokes

Broker Math vs Lender Math: The 6-Cap Illusion

Broker: It’s a 6-cap value-add, upside day one Lender: Underwrote off T-12, DSCR 0.99—need 25% more equity Client: But it’s NNN! Me: Except the roof, parking lot, HVAC, and your hopes 😅 Appraiser: Comped it to a cornfield 30 miles away; closing: rescheduled. Again 🚧

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Underwrote 6.25% Cap, Appraised at Lol

Broker: Underwrote 95% occupancy, totally conservative, pinky swear. Appraiser: Subject borders a haunted parking lot; -120 bps for vibes. Lender: Need T-12, T-36, T-everything, estoppel bingo, and a

 
 
 

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