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The CRE Humor Jokes

Broker Math vs Lender Math: DSCR Cage Match

Oct 8

1 min read

Broker: Pro forma DSCR 1.35, T-3 is glowing, capex ‘minimal’ Lender: Cute—send T-12, ALTA, estoppels, SNDA, and your grandma’s K-1s Client: Can we close Friday and relocate the Starbucks mid-LOI? Me: Phase I found a 1954 tank, SOFR yeeted +30 bps, and TI/LC unlocked nightmare mode 💀🧨

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Expectation: 30-Day Close. Reality: 30 Docs A Day.

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The CRE Humor Jokes

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