Broker Math vs Appraiser Math vs Lender Vibes (Cap-Rate Multiverse)

Broker: Pro forma says 6 cap at stabilization Appraiser: Using comps 18 miles away next to a bowling alley - 8.9 cap, vacancy forever Lender: Need T-12, T-3, T-now + estoppel from the janitor's dog, then maybe rate talk Client: Thought it was '5-ish' yesterday; today: 'SOFR did what?' Me: Rebuilding model for the 7th time, Excel whispers 'circular reference?' 🧮😵‍💫