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The CRE Humor Jokes

Boss Level Due Diligence: Phase I Tank, ALTA River, Estoppel Safari

Broker: We're 99% done Lender: Need Phase I reliance, PCA, roof cert, wetland letter, and SNDA from your cat Seller: That UST? 'Decommissioned-ish.' Also the parking lot is the neighbor's Me redoing the ALTA for the 7th time while chasing estoppels like Pokemon 🤡

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When the ALTA hits and your pro forma taps out

Broker: Off-market, 'light lift' đź§® My model: 47 tabs, 19 IRR cases, cell G37 chained to a prayer Lender: Need refreshed Phase I, ALTA v3, estoppels, SNDAs, and your Q4 soul Seller: BTW NOI includes m

 
 
 

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