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The CRE Humor Jokes

Appraiser Just Cut My Proceeds at 4:59 PM: DSCR Crying in Excel

Broker: LOI done, T-12 clean, DSCR 1.28—send it Appraiser: Using a comp from a cornfield 27 miles away; value -12% 📉 Lender: Proceeds now cover one HVAC and a dream; please re-trade equity Me at 4:59pm: Updating model v37, telling seller it’s a "minor tweak" 😵‍💫

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Appraiser Brought a 2021 Comp to a 2026 Knife Fight

Broker: T12 scrubbed, 6-cap, Phase I squeaky. Let’s close. Lender: DSCR 1.249 so… escrows, rate cap, and a blood sample. Appraiser: Used a 'nearby' comp 19 miles away behind a cornfield—value: vibes.

 
 
 

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