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The CRE Humor Jokes

Appraised at Trust-Me-Bro Pricing

Broker: 72 hours to close—easy Lender: Need fresh T-12, estoppels, Phase I footnote, and DSCR manifesting at 1.25 Appraiser: Best comp is a goat-yoga barn 40 miles out; value pending roof’s mood Client: Underwrote 6 cap—Market: it’s a vibes cap now 😂

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Appraiser Brought a 2021 Comp to a 2026 Knife Fight

Broker: T12 scrubbed, 6-cap, Phase I squeaky. Let’s close. Lender: DSCR 1.249 so… escrows, rate cap, and a blood sample. Appraiser: Used a 'nearby' comp 19 miles away behind a cornfield—value: vibes.

 
 
 

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