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The CRE Humor Jokes

Appraisal Came In, My Sanity Checked Out

Broker: Pro forma says 1.35x DSCR easy Lender: Great, just need final rent roll, T-12, estoppels, and a blood oath Appraiser: Value supports purchase… if 2007 returns from the dead 🧟 Me to client: Leverage is 55% because comps are vibes and a broker’s webinar 😬

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Term Sheet Says Yes, Appraisal Says LOL

Broker: LOI signed, lender nodding, I preorder the 'Closed' banner Lender: send updated T-12, live rent roll, and proof the roof isn’t a rumor Appraiser: found comps from a C-minus two zip codes away—

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