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The CRE Humor Jokes

Appraisal Came In Lighter Than My TI Budget

ricklahkar
May 14
1 min read

Broker: Offer accepted at $12M, pencils at a 6.0 cap Lender: At 7.25% and 1.35 DSCR, proceeds $8.4M—also need an updated rent roll...from yesterday Appraiser: Found a 2016 comp two zip codes away—value $8.39M 📉 Me: Rebranding this as 'value-subtract' while my Excel loops in circular-reference purgatory 😵‍💫

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Pro Forma: 12M. Appraisal: 8.4M. My Soul: Negative Carry.

Broker: Pro forma value 12M, comps are chef's kiss Appraiser: Found a 2011 comp next to a RadioShack, calling it 8.4M Lender: DSCR 1.25 at SOFR+ mystery points; also escrow Jupiter and buy a rate cap

Term Sheet Says Yes, Appraisal Says LOL

Broker: LOI signed, lender nodding, I preorder the 'Closed' banner Lender: send updated T-12, live rent roll, and proof the roof isn’t a rumor Appraiser: found comps from a C-minus two zip codes away—

Appraisal Says Vibes, Lender Says No, My Model Says Please

Broker: PSA at $12M Appraiser: Comps say $9.4M and vibes Lender: 55% LTV, DSCR 1.35 on a pro forma we won’t count 🙂 Me: Rebuilding the model at 1:13 AM, begging tenants for estoppels 🧮

The CRE Humor Jokes

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