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The CRE Humor Jokes

Appraisal Came In 'At Value'—After Lender Moved The Goalposts

Broker: NOI is stabilized, DSCR 1.35x—trust the rent roll Lender: Neat, now underwrite 10% vacancy, 1.25 DSCR at 8.25% and full TI/LC escrow Appraiser: Best comp is a cornfield 27 miles away—major adjustment: “vibes” 😵 Me: LOI said 65% LTV; term sheet says “LOL”—equity stack has entered the chat 📉

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