Appraisal Arrives. DSCR Dies. Broker Cries.

Broker: We’re green-lit to close Friday Lender: After the appraisal reconciliation, environmental footnote, and lunar eclipse Appraiser: Value down 8% because the pro forma 'looked optimistic' and the Starbucks is 'aspirational' Client: Can we Airbnb the parking lot? 🤔 Me, 1:47 AM in Excel: If I back-solve DSCR with negative CAM and positive vibes, it pencils 😅