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The CRE Humor Jokes

30-Day Close vs 2013 Comp: The CRE Speedrun No One Asked For

Broker: LOI signed, 30-day close—easy money Lender: cool, just need T-12, updated rent roll, Phase I, estoppels, three guarantors, and a blood type 🩸 Appraiser: perfect comp… from 2013; market says 6 cap, report says 'lol 8.75' Me @ 2:07am: Excel shows 17% IRR until taxes move $0.03 and DSCR rage-quits 😵‍💫

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Appraiser Brought a 2021 Comp to a 2026 Knife Fight

Broker: T12 scrubbed, 6-cap, Phase I squeaky. Let’s close. Lender: DSCR 1.249 so… escrows, rate cap, and a blood sample. Appraiser: Used a 'nearby' comp 19 miles away behind a cornfield—value: vibes.

 
 
 

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