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The CRE Humor Jokes

When 'Turnkey NNN' Becomes 47 Excel Tabs and a Prayer

Client: It's turnkey NNN Lender: Need rent roll, estoppels, SNDA, roof age, Phase I, and a blood oath Me (Broker): Proforma says 6.25% cap Excel: After CAM true-up + 8 months free rent = 4.19% cap 🫠 Seller: 'Multiple offers, price firm' šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«

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NNN 'Easy Deal' Speedrun: Broker vs Lender vs Client

Broker: It’s a vanilla NNN, clean Phase I, we coast to close Lender: Need 12 months trailing, 3 estoppels, roof warranty from 1997, and the tenant’s favorite cereal Client: Can we close Friday if we s

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DSCR Olympics: Broker Says 1.30, Lender Brings a Microscope

Broker: It’s a clean 1.30 DSCR, seller covers CAM, easy close Lender: After ā€˜normalized’ vacancy, true taxes, roof reserve… 1.09 Appraiser: Best comp is a llama farm with a drive-thru, still ā€˜market’

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When DSCR Won’t Commit But My Coffee Will

Client: Can we close Friday? Lender: Send updated T-12, estoppels, SNDA, Phase I, and proof the roof isn’t from 1978 Me opening Excel: why does CAM math have 19 tabs and a hidden sorcery sheet ā˜ ļø DSCR

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