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The CRE Humor Jokes

When 'Turnkey NNN' Becomes 47 Excel Tabs and a Prayer

Client: It's turnkey NNN Lender: Need rent roll, estoppels, SNDA, roof age, Phase I, and a blood oath Me (Broker): Proforma says 6.25% cap Excel: After CAM true-up + 8 months free rent = 4.19% cap 🫠 Seller: 'Multiple offers, price firm' šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«

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Expectation: 5 Cap, Reality: Tenant Pays in Vibes

Broker: Stabilized, 98% occupied, turn-key asset Lender: Cool, just need rent roll, 12 estoppels, SNDA, updated ALTA, and your firstborn Me in Excel at 2:47am: NOI says yes, roof, HVAC, and CAMs say l

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When the Lender Says One More Item for the 47th Time

Broker: LOI signed, easy close Lender: Need T-12, rent roll, SNDA, estoppels, Phase I, ALTA survey, and your blood type Appraiser: Using a 2013 Kmart comp; value says your cap rate is a bedtime story

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