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The CRE Humor Jokes

When the Phase I Says Historic Dry Cleaner and Your Cap Rate Ghosts You

Aug 28
1 min read

Broker: Proforma is conservative Phase I: Historic dry cleaner, REC, vapor elves under Unit 3 🧪 Lender: Love it—drop LTV 10 percent, need 12 estoppels, and your firstborn Me: Rent roll says 100 percent occupied; tour finds 4 pigeons, a forklift, and a guy named Tenant Improvement 😬

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