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The CRE Humor Jokes

When the Appraiser Brings Roller-Rink Comps to Your Class A Flex Tour

Broker: It’s plug-and-play, TI is “light” GC: Cool, that “light” is $38/SF and a surprise demising wall Lender: Need T-12, T-3, T-1, roof cert, and proof your HVAC attends church Appraiser: Used a 2015 roller rink next to a goat farm; cap rate yeets itself 🫠📉

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Mailbox Money vs Co-Tenancy Grenade

Expectation: Mailbox money Reality: Co-tenancy clause detonates when the anchor sneezes Lender: Need 1.25x DSCR and a time machine Owner: Can Excel model 'vibes-based NOI'? 🧮😵‍💫

 
 
 

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