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The CRE Humor Jokes

When the Appraiser Brings a Calculator and a Ouija Board

Broker: IC approved - coast is clear Lender: Need fresh T-12, estoppels, SNDAs, Phase I addendum, and an ALTA from 1997 Client: DSCR is vibes-based, right? Also what’s an estoppel 🙂 Me: Modeled 6.25% debt; term sheet says SOFR + vibes + yield maintenance, and the appraiser summoned 3 comps from 2011 😵‍💫

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Due Diligence Jenga: One More Estoppel And We're Out

Broker: LOI signed, PSA clean, we're cruising Lender: Need fresh estoppels, SNDA, ALTA, Phase I that says 'no vibes,' and a 1.35 DSCR in a 1.10 world 😵‍💫 Buyer: Underwrote at 6.25% cap; Seller heard

 
 
 

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