top of page
ChatGPT Image Mar 21, 2026, 05_41_11 PM.png

The CRE Humor Jokes

When the Appraiser Brings 2019 Comps to a 2026 Cap-Rate War

Expectation: 6% cap, 70% LTV, 30-day close Appraiser: 2019 comps + “market headwinds” = 8.0% cap and $200k TI/LC reserve Lender: DSCR uses January utilities, 5% econ vacancy on 100% leased, proceeds -23% 📉 Client: “80% LTV, right?” Me: “Absolutely—on Monopoly money” 😵‍💫

Recent Posts

See All
Term Sheet Says Yes, Appraisal Says LOL

Broker: LOI signed, lender nodding, I preorder the 'Closed' banner Lender: send updated T-12, live rent roll, and proof the roof isn’t a rumor Appraiser: found comps from a C-minus two zip codes away—

 
 
 
When the Appraiser Nukes Your Cap Rate at 4:59 PM

Broker: It pencils at 6.25% cap, T-12 trending up, pro forma tight Lender: Committee wants actuals, SNDAs, and my weekend Appraiser: Calls it 'stabilized' then shaves 12% because a 2009 comp sneezed M

 
 
 

Comments

Rated 0 out of 5 stars.
No ratings yet

Add a rating
bottom of page