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The CRE Humor Jokes

When The Appraisal Sneezes, The DSCR Catches A Cold

Broker: Clear to close Friday Lender: Need refreshed T-12, SNDA, estoppels, and a 'quick' re-underwrite Appraiser: Came in 9% low with comps from a vacant bowling alley 18 miles away šŸ“ Me at 1:42am: Nudging cap rate 10 bps to keep DSCR alive before rate lock flatlines šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«

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Term Sheet Says Yes, Appraisal Says LOL

Broker: LOI signed, lender nodding, I preorder the 'Closed' banner Lender: send updated T-12, live rent roll, and proof the roof isn’t a rumor Appraiser: found comps from a C-minus two zip codes away—

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When the Appraiser Nukes Your Cap Rate at 4:59 PM

Broker: It pencils at 6.25% cap, T-12 trending up, pro forma tight Lender: Committee wants actuals, SNDAs, and my weekend Appraiser: Calls it 'stabilized' then shaves 12% because a 2009 comp sneezed M

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