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The CRE Humor Jokes

When the Appraisal Hits Like a Friday Afternoon Email

Expectation: 6% cap, clean T-12, lender thumbs-up Reality: DSCR 1.19, SNDA scavenger hunt, 'escrow holdback TBD' 🙂 Appraiser: pulled comps from a 2011 bowling alley two counties over Me in Excel: version_14_FINAL_v7.xlsx, cap rate crying, rent roll vs T-12 cage match 🤡

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Term Sheet Says Yes, Appraisal Says LOL

Broker: LOI signed, lender nodding, I preorder the 'Closed' banner Lender: send updated T-12, live rent roll, and proof the roof isn’t a rumor Appraiser: found comps from a C-minus two zip codes away—

 
 
 
When the Appraiser Nukes Your Cap Rate at 4:59 PM

Broker: It pencils at 6.25% cap, T-12 trending up, pro forma tight Lender: Committee wants actuals, SNDAs, and my weekend Appraiser: Calls it 'stabilized' then shaves 12% because a 2009 comp sneezed M

 
 
 

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