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The CRE Humor Jokes

When Due Diligence Says 'Trust Me' (CRE Expectation vs Reality)

Broker brain: 30-day DD, clean Phase I, estoppels by Friday. Reality: 1948 easement through the loading dock, UST ping next door, roof is “new” (per 2009 invoice). Lender: please upload T-12, T-24, SNDA selfies, and a video of the HVAC doing burpees. Me at 2:17am renaming Excel: MODEL_v9_FINAL_FINAL_reallyFINAL.xlsx while retrading 25 bps like Monopoly money 😵‍💫

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Due Diligence Jenga: One More Estoppel And We're Out

Broker: LOI signed, PSA clean, we're cruising Lender: Need fresh estoppels, SNDA, ALTA, Phase I that says 'no vibes,' and a 1.35 DSCR in a 1.10 world 😵‍💫 Buyer: Underwrote at 6.25% cap; Seller heard

 
 
 

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