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The CRE Humor Jokes

When DSCR Says Yes But the Rent Roll Says New Phone Who Dis

ricklahkar
Jul 20
1 min read

Broker: DSCR is 1.25x, victory lap engaged 🏁 Lender: After taxes, reserves, TI/LC, and market vibes... 0.98x Appraiser: Value is strong—subject to new roof, 20 parking stalls, and a time machine Title: Also there’s a 1979 cattle-path easement through your dock, nbd Client: 1031 closes Friday right? Me: opening Excel, summoning estoppels, and a miracle 🧮

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Broker vs Lender vs Client: The 45-Day Close That Aged Us 45 Years

Broker: It's a clean deal, 45-day close, pinky swear ⏳ Lender: Need updated rent roll, SNDA, estoppels, Phase I-that-smells-like-Phase II, and a blood type Client: Why is CAM higher than NOI and why d

The CRE Humor Jokes

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