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The CRE Humor Jokes

Underwriting: The Final Boss (and the Emails Never Stop)

Me: “We’re good—LOI signed.” Underwriting: “Cool. Now send rent roll in 12-point font + proof you breathe oxygen.” Lender: “Any questions?” Me: *opening underwriting spreadsheet like it’s a haunted house* 😵‍💫 Then the last email hits: “Also, can we re-run taxes… from last year… in a new format.”

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Broker: LOI signed, PSA clean, we're cruising Lender: Need fresh estoppels, SNDA, ALTA, Phase I that says 'no vibes,' and a 1.35 DSCR in a 1.10 world 😵‍💫 Buyer: Underwrote at 6.25% cap; Seller heard

 
 
 

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