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The CRE Humor Jokes

Underwriting Says 6 Cap, Appraisal Says LOL

ricklahkar
Jul 15
1 min read

Expectation: Sign LOI Friday, toast the 6-cap Reality: Roof is 'historic,' parking is 'shared with geese,' and CAMs are a riddle Lender: Need one more item (surprise, it's 19 items and your soul) 🧮 Appraisal: Valued at 2016 vibes with 2009 comps—'as-is' means as-tears 🤡 Me: Rebuilding the model at 1am while TI costs breed in Column AA 🚨

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Clear to Close* (*Until Lender Remembers Global Cash Flow)

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Mailbox Money vs Co-Tenancy Grenade

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The CRE Humor Jokes

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