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The CRE Humor Jokes

Under Contract, Over Caffeinated: Due Diligence Speedrun

Aug 27
1 min read

Expectation: clean DD Reality: Phase I whispers 'former dry cleaner' under the asphalt šŸ’€ Lender: need updated rent roll/estoppels/SNDA + roof report EOD Me: DSCR broke, capex exploded, Final_v7.xlsx promoted to Final_v29_NOW_REALLY_FINAL ā˜• Client: we still closing Friday, right?

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Expectation: 30-day DD, clean Phase I, estoppels by Friday Reality: Phase I says recognized environmental conditions and title reveals a 1904 railroad easement šŸš‚ Broker: It’s minor Lender: Need seism

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