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The CRE Humor Jokes

Turnkey Listing: Comes With Free Roof From 1989 and a Surprise TI Bill

Owner: It's turnkey Me: Then why does the TI budget start with a 4 and end with /sf Lender: Need updated rent roll, SNDA, estoppels, Phase I, and your firstborn by 3pm Excel: Throws #REF! at 2:59pm 🤡

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NNN 'Easy Deal' Speedrun: Broker vs Lender vs Client

Broker: It’s a vanilla NNN, clean Phase I, we coast to close Lender: Need 12 months trailing, 3 estoppels, roof warranty from 1997, and the tenant’s favorite cereal Client: Can we close Friday if we s

 
 
 
When DSCR Won’t Commit But My Coffee Will

Client: Can we close Friday? Lender: Send updated T-12, estoppels, SNDA, Phase I, and proof the roof isn’t from 1978 Me opening Excel: why does CAM math have 19 tabs and a hidden sorcery sheet ☠️ DSCR

 
 
 

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