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The CRE Humor Jokes

T-12 Says 'Trust Me, Bro'—Due Diligence on Nightmare Mode

Broker: It's turnkey. Lender: Need Phase I, ALTA, estoppels, SNDA, T-12, and proof God exists. Client: So we can close Friday? Me opening the data room: 4 rent rolls, 3 SNDAs, 0 same numbers, and a mold report named 'final_v7_REALfinal' 😂 Cap rate: falls 50 bps just from reading that.

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Due Diligence Jenga: One More Estoppel And We're Out

Broker: LOI signed, PSA clean, we're cruising Lender: Need fresh estoppels, SNDA, ALTA, Phase I that says 'no vibes,' and a 1.35 DSCR in a 1.10 world 😵‍💫 Buyer: Underwrote at 6.25% cap; Seller heard

 
 
 

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