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The CRE Humor Jokes

Stabilized* (*per the owner's cousin)

Expectation: 6.0% cap, turnkey, happy landlord 😌 Reality: 4 HVACs from 1998, CAM 'estimates', estoppels reply 'who's this' Broker: It's fine, lender loves hair. Lender: DSCR says no. Owner: Can we 1031 this by Friday? 🫠

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When the Lender Says One More Item for the 47th Time

Broker: LOI signed, easy close Lender: Need T-12, rent roll, SNDA, estoppels, Phase I, ALTA survey, and your blood type Appraiser: Using a 2013 Kmart comp; value says your cap rate is a bedtime story

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Mailbox Money vs Co-Tenancy Grenade

Expectation: Mailbox money Reality: Co-tenancy clause detonates when the anchor sneezes Lender: Need 1.25x DSCR and a time machine Owner: Can Excel model 'vibes-based NOI'? šŸ§®šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«

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