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The CRE Humor Jokes

Proforma Said 8 Cap, Appraisal Said LOL

ricklahkar
Apr 17
1 min read

Broker: 60-day close, easy Lender: Cool—just need T-12, T-3, SNDA, estoppels, ALTA, and a time machine Appraiser: Your 8.0 cap? Precious. Last comp at 5.4… in 2019 Me at 2:13am, fixing the 7th 'final' model: IRR now measured in vibes 😂

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Expectation: 5 Cap, Reality: Tenant Pays in Vibes

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When the Lender Says One More Item for the 47th Time

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Clear to Close* (*Until Lender Remembers Global Cash Flow)

Broker: LOI signed, victory lap Lender: Need SNDA, updated estoppels, 12-month roof reserve, and your left shoe Landlord: NNNs reconcile after CAM true-up, security guard, and 47 'misc.' line items Cl

The CRE Humor Jokes

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