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The CRE Humor Jokes

Phase I Says 'Historic Dry Cleaner' And My LOI Says 'Thoughts And Prayers'

Broker: Bulletproof deal Phase I: 1978 dry cleaner, mystery vent, and a sump named 'Regret' Lender: Need a Phase II, vapor study, and your third-grade report card Me: Pushing close date like a shopping cart with one wobbly wheel 🛒

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When the ALTA hits and your pro forma taps out

Broker: Off-market, 'light lift' 🧮 My model: 47 tabs, 19 IRR cases, cell G37 chained to a prayer Lender: Need refreshed Phase I, ALTA v3, estoppels, SNDAs, and your Q4 soul Seller: BTW NOI includes m

 
 
 

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