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Owner: 'Easy Close' vs CRE Universe: 'Hold My Estoppel'

Expectation: Sign PSA, sip coffee, collect a 6-cap Reality: Lender—'Need updated T-12, T-3, T-1, and your toddler's COI' 🤡 Tenant estoppel: 'We pay rent in vibes'; Roof report: 'Moisture party under the membrane' Me at 2 a.m.: rebuilding model, CAMs off $0.37, DSCR allergic to daylight 📉

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Expectation: 5 Cap, Reality: Tenant Pays in Vibes

Broker: Stabilized, 98% occupied, turn-key asset Lender: Cool, just need rent roll, 12 estoppels, SNDA, updated ALTA, and your firstborn Me in Excel at 2:47am: NOI says yes, roof, HVAC, and CAMs say l

 
 
 
When the Lender Says One More Item for the 47th Time

Broker: LOI signed, easy close Lender: Need T-12, rent roll, SNDA, estoppels, Phase I, ALTA survey, and your blood type Appraiser: Using a 2013 Kmart comp; value says your cap rate is a bedtime story

 
 
 

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