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The CRE Humor Jokes

Owner: 5 Cap. Lender: Hold My Reserve.

Owner: 'It’s a 5.0% cap, firm' Lender: 'After T-12 haircuts, 10% vacancy, and an HVAC Resurrection Reserve, DSCR says nah' Me updating the OM: 'Anchor tenant is temporarily dark' = mood lighting 😂 Buyer: re-trade after Phase I finds historic dry cleaner vibes + roof ponding; Seller: 'Close by Friday?' 😵‍💫

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Expectation: 5 Cap, Reality: Tenant Pays in Vibes

Broker: Stabilized, 98% occupied, turn-key asset Lender: Cool, just need rent roll, 12 estoppels, SNDA, updated ALTA, and your firstborn Me in Excel at 2:47am: NOI says yes, roof, HVAC, and CAMs say l

 
 
 

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