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The CRE Humor Jokes

My LOI Said 30 Days. The ALTA Laughed.

Expectation: Phase I clean, ALTA crisp, estoppels by Friday Reality: Phase I finds vintage solvent buffet, ALTA says neighbor owns 0.7 ft of my parking Lender: please attach seller’s 1998 roof warranty, geotech, and a selfie proving the wetland isn’t wet Me: extending close while renaming Tab 47 to Deal Killer Index 😵‍💫🔍

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Due Diligence Jenga: One More Estoppel And We're Out

Broker: LOI signed, PSA clean, we're cruising Lender: Need fresh estoppels, SNDA, ALTA, Phase I that says 'no vibes,' and a 1.35 DSCR in a 1.10 world 😵‍💫 Buyer: Underwrote at 6.25% cap; Seller heard

 
 
 

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