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The CRE Humor Jokes

My LOI Said 30 Days. The ALTA Laughed.

Expectation: Phase I clean, ALTA crisp, estoppels by Friday Reality: Phase I finds vintage solvent buffet, ALTA says neighbor owns 0.7 ft of my parking Lender: please attach seller’s 1998 roof warranty, geotech, and a selfie proving the wetland isn’t wet Me: extending close while renaming Tab 47 to Deal Killer Index 😵‍💫🔍

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When the ALTA hits and your pro forma taps out

Broker: Off-market, 'light lift' 🧮 My model: 47 tabs, 19 IRR cases, cell G37 chained to a prayer Lender: Need refreshed Phase I, ALTA v3, estoppels, SNDAs, and your Q4 soul Seller: BTW NOI includes m

 
 
 

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