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The CRE Humor Jokes

LOI Says 30 Days, City Says Bring a Canoe

Broker: DD is a formality—30 days, tops Lender: Phase I, ALTA, SNDA, 12 estoppels, roof cores, and proof the parking lot is real City: Plot twist—floodplain + historic overlay + mystery easement under the drive-thru 😵‍💫 Me at 2:07 AM in Excel: added a CapEx line called 'Vibes' and the deal still pencils… to fire 🔥

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Due Diligence Jenga: One More Estoppel And We're Out

Broker: LOI signed, PSA clean, we're cruising Lender: Need fresh estoppels, SNDA, ALTA, Phase I that says 'no vibes,' and a 1.35 DSCR in a 1.10 world 😵‍💫 Buyer: Underwrote at 6.25% cap; Seller heard

 
 
 

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