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The CRE Humor Jokes

LOI Promised Yoga, Lender Brought CrossFit

ricklahkar
Apr 19
1 min read

Broker: 7 cap, 5-yr IO, 65% LTV—easy close Lender: Actually 6 cap, 1-yr IO, 55% LTV, and DSCR on a keto diet Client: I bought NNN for 'passive income'? Me: 83-tab model, chasing estoppels, Phase II cameo—namaste to my weekend 😵‍💫🧯

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When the Lender Says One More Item for the 47th Time

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Clear to Close* (*Until Lender Remembers Global Cash Flow)

Broker: LOI signed, victory lap Lender: Need SNDA, updated estoppels, 12-month roof reserve, and your left shoe Landlord: NNNs reconcile after CAM true-up, security guard, and 47 'misc.' line items Cl

The CRE Humor Jokes

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