top of page
ChatGPT Image Mar 21, 2026, 05_41_11 PM.png

The CRE Humor Jokes

Light TI, Heavy Therapy

Sep 1
1 min read

Client: 'Just light TI.' GC: 'Found asbestos, 8 RFIs, MEP redesign.' Lender: 'New budget, new appraisal, same closing date.' Me: Rebuilding the pro forma at 1 a.m.; CAM waterfalls and retainage doing parkour 🔥 Expectation: May grand opening; Reality: Base Year set to 'Eventually' 🫠

Recent Posts

See All
CAM True-Up: The Annual Jump Scare

Broker: Base rent looks dreamy Landlord: NNN is just light housekeeping, ignore the fine print January CAM true-up: 15% admin fee + 105% gross-up + snow removal... in Miami 🤡 Tenant: Wait, didn’t we

 
 
 
When the TI Budget Meets Reality: The Spreadsheet Screams

Broker: TI is “turnkey” GC: Cool, which key opens the $40/sf gap? Landlord: We’ll sort it at CAM reconciliation 🙂 Me in Excel: one circular ref and the rent roll time-travels to 2019 🧯

 
 
 
TI Budget vs Construction Reality vs CAM Plot Twist

Broker brain: $35/SF TI = glow-up GC: That buys doorknobs and an RFI about the doorknobs Landlord: CAM reconciliation arriving with interest and snow from 2021 My model in Excel: Rent +3%, change orde

 
 
 

Comments

Rated 0 out of 5 stars.
No ratings yet

Add a rating
bottom of page