Lease Abstractor Mode: ON (Due Diligence Edition)

Expectation: ‘Easy deal, just skim the lease.’ Reality: 14 addenda later, I’m decoding CAM charges like they’re ancient hieroglyphs 🧾 Broker says ‘it’s straightforward’—my underwriting spreadsheet says ‘good luck’ Lender: ‘Where’s the estoppel?’ Me: ‘I worship at the altar of last-minute requests’ 🔥