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The CRE Humor Jokes

Expectation vs Reality: The Cap Rate Catfish

Broker: Proforma says 6.25% cap, 'light' TI T12: 58% occupancy; Inspector: roof is a kiddie pool, RTUs predate disco Lender: Size to in-place NOI, 1.25x DSCR, plus reserves for vibes Me in Excel: 19 tabs later—CapEx exploding, rent roll sobbing, DSCR at 0.98x 🤡💸

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Mailbox Money vs Co-Tenancy Grenade

Expectation: Mailbox money Reality: Co-tenancy clause detonates when the anchor sneezes Lender: Need 1.25x DSCR and a time machine Owner: Can Excel model 'vibes-based NOI'? 🧮😵‍💫

 
 
 

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