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The CRE Humor Jokes

Expectation vs Reality: The 7 Cap Mirage

Expectation: 7-cap NNN, non-recourse, 10-yr fixed, day-1 cashflow Reality: lender wants 3 yrs ops, seller’s roof ’96, rent roll in crayon, Phase I finds “vintage” dry cleaner plume Me in Excel: 19 tabs, 4 scenario trees, IRR still 7.01% if I delete payroll and reality 😅 Closing: title uncovers a 1938 cattle-path easement through the loading dock—client asks for discount at e-sign 🔥

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Expectation: 5 Cap, Reality: Tenant Pays in Vibes

Broker: Stabilized, 98% occupied, turn-key asset Lender: Cool, just need rent roll, 12 estoppels, SNDA, updated ALTA, and your firstborn Me in Excel at 2:47am: NOI says yes, roof, HVAC, and CAMs say l

 
 
 

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