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The CRE Humor Jokes

Expectation: DSCR 1.30x. Reality: Appraiser Invents 14% 'Market Vacancy'

Broker: DSCR 1.30x, cap 6.1%, we close Friday Lender: Send estoppels/SNDAs, 3 years of CAMs, and your blood type Appraiser: Adjusted NOI for 'market vacancy,' roof mood swings, and the 1987 grease trap Me at 2:14 AM: color-coding TI/LC and whispering 'please, Phase I, no tanks' šŸ™ƒ

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Term Sheet Says Yes, Appraisal Says LOL

Broker: LOI signed, lender nodding, I preorder the 'Closed' banner Lender: send updated T-12, live rent roll, and proof the roof isn’t a rumor Appraiser: found comps from a C-minus two zip codes away—

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When the Appraiser Nukes Your Cap Rate at 4:59 PM

Broker: It pencils at 6.25% cap, T-12 trending up, pro forma tight Lender: Committee wants actuals, SNDAs, and my weekend Appraiser: Calls it 'stabilized' then shaves 12% because a 2009 comp sneezed M

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