top of page
ChatGPT Image Mar 21, 2026, 05_41_11 PM.png

The CRE Humor Jokes

Search

Expectation: 75% LTV. Reality: Bowling Alley Comp

Client: Need 75% LTV and a 30-day close Lender: After “haircuts” it’s 58% LTV, 120 days, and a DSCR diet Appraiser: Best comp is a 1987 bowling alley 42 miles away Me at 1:47am: rebuilding the model, adding roof escrow, tax appeal, and a single tear 😂

Recent Posts

See All
Term Sheet Says Yes, Appraisal Says LOL

Broker: LOI signed, lender nodding, I preorder the 'Closed' banner Lender: send updated T-12, live rent roll, and proof the roof isn’t a rumor Appraiser: found comps from a C-minus two zip codes away—

 
 
 
When the Appraiser Nukes Your Cap Rate at 4:59 PM

Broker: It pencils at 6.25% cap, T-12 trending up, pro forma tight Lender: Committee wants actuals, SNDAs, and my weekend Appraiser: Calls it 'stabilized' then shaves 12% because a 2009 comp sneezed M

 
 
 

Comments

Rated 0 out of 5 stars.
No ratings yet
Add a rating
bottom of page