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The CRE Humor Jokes

Expectation: 6 Cap; Reality: Pop-Up Anchor + Phase II Speedrun

Broker: Bulletproof 6 cap, turnkey, 'tenants love it' Lender: Quick Q—what’s DSCR after CAM true-up and new HVAC reserve? Seller: Updated rent roll: anchor is on a 12-month pop-up license 😶 Me: Ordering Phase II because the soil still smells like 1978 dry cleaner 🫠 Title: Surprise mechanics lien from a roofer named Kyle; cap rate now feelings-based

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Mailbox Money vs Co-Tenancy Grenade

Expectation: Mailbox money Reality: Co-tenancy clause detonates when the anchor sneezes Lender: Need 1.25x DSCR and a time machine Owner: Can Excel model 'vibes-based NOI'? 🧮😵‍💫

 
 
 

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