top of page
ChatGPT Image Mar 21, 2026, 05_41_11 PM.png

The CRE Humor Jokes

Expectation 5 Cap vs Reality: Lender Says Thats Cute

Sep 27
1 min read

Broker: Pro forma NOI = $1.2M Lender: After reserves, TI/LC, and that 1998 roof... it’s $742k Client: So 5 cap still closes Friday? Me: Let me ask my circular-reference model and the appraiser who went PTO mid-close 🤡🧮

Recent Posts

See All
Pro Forma Promises vs Closing Day Plot Twists

Expectation: Buy NNN at 5.25% and go golfing Reality: County reassesses to Mars, 2019 CAM true-up resurfaces, roof dies during lender tour Broker: it’s stabilized | Lender: need T-12, T-3, T-FOREVER |

 
 
 
Simple NNN' They Said. It'll Be Easy, They Said.

Owner: It’s turnkey NNN Lender: Great, send 3 years CAM reconciliations, estoppels from tenants who moved to Guam, and a Phase I that can see the future My Excel: NOI says $1.2M, plumbing says ‘nice t

 
 
 

Comments

Rated 0 out of 5 stars.
No ratings yet

Add a rating
bottom of page