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The CRE Humor Jokes

Expectation: 30-Day Close; Reality: Due Diligence Boss Fight

Sep 4
1 min read

Expectation: 30-day close, clean estoppels, vanilla Phase I Reality: 400-page lease, SNDA signed by a fax machine from 1998 Lender: “Just one more doc” = 19 new conditions before committee Seller: “Turn-key” = roof turns key into waterfall Me: Re-trading on Zoom, crying in Excel and ordering more coffee 🥲☕️

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