Due Diligence: Where Deadlines Go to Die (And So Does Your Sleep)

Client: “We can close in 30 days.” Underwriting: *stares at my Excel like it’s a cursed artifact* Me: “Sure… after the Phase I, appraisal, SNDA, and the landlord’s ‘one small email’ 🙃” Reality: every doc arrives at 4:58pm like it’s clocking in for chaos.